Girish Gangadharan

Swapna and I were getting out of our apartment this afternoon heading to our friend’s house. And our neighbor was walking up the stairs just as we were ready to lock our door. Here’s the transcript of the interesting conversation I had with him.

Me: (to Swapna, in Malayalam) Get the keys? Lock the balcony door?

Swapna: Yupp.

Neighbor: English!

Me: (to the neighbor) I’m sorry, were you talking to us?

Neighbor: Not just to you. (Pointing to my other Indian neighbor’s door) To them and to the ones living downstairs, to all of you. Speak in fucking English.

Me: Excuse me?

Neighbor: You heard me. You come to my fucking country and you don’t speak my fucking language?

Me: You don’t get to decide what language I use to speak to my wife. I’m a tax paying legal immigrant. I think I have the right to speak to my wife in whatever language I want.

Neighbor: Oh yeah? Why don’t you get the fuck out of my country then? Who asked you to come here?

Me: Are you kidding me, man?

Neighbor: Why don’t you get the fuck outta here? Yeah, get the fuck outta here.

Me: No, you get the fuck outta here. (Yupp, that’s the best I could do at that point. I was so nervous. I wasn’t quick enough to come up with a befitting reply.)

Let’s rewind back a little bit. July 27th 2002. That’s when I arrived in the US for the first time as a student on an F1 visa.

I graduated with my Masters degree here in Computer Science from UTA in August 2004. Got a job after that.

I’ve always paid my taxes, social security, medicare etc on time, every time. Never committed any crime. Never been arrested. Never broke the law. Never done anything wrong.

I don’t even download movies illegally.

Yet, none of that matters. Doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived here or how well you’ve blended into the society or how great you’ve been a member of the civilized population or how many friends you’ve made. If you are a foreigner, you better be prepared to be on the receiving end of some racism, my friend. It’s happened to me before but you just don’t get used to something like that no matter how hard you try.

Swapna wasn’t happy at all. She’s never seen me in a confrontation before. She was upset. It’s been only 3 months since we moved to this new place that is swarming with Indians. Not bachelors. Full fledged families with 2 kids on an average. 90% of them work in the IT industry (Pepsi, JC Penney, Frito Lays, Dr. Pepper, Cadburys, Infosys – all these companies are less than 5 miles from this place. Most of these guys are contractors there).

At first, we were surprised there were so many desis around. We didn’t know about it before we signed the lease. As time passed by, we got invited to potlucks and our neighbors speak Tamil like us. It was a huge change and Swapna loved it. At my previous apartment, that was her biggest complaint – “People keep to themselves here. Nobody talks to anybody. Nobody comes out of their apartment. If they do, they get in their car and go away. I’m bored out of my mind” (this was before she joined Epsilon)

As you can imagine, she was excited about the interaction she was getting here. People stopped by and said Hi and asked about our dog when we were walking Mia. Apparently, we’re the only Indians in this complex that owns a dog. Nice ice breaker.

So anyways, our awesome neighbor gentleman complained about us from day one. No, literally. He called the office and complained about the movers making noise when they were carrying the furniture in to our apartment on our moving day. A week later, he also complained when we got our washer dryer installed in the garage downstairs which was funny because he actually lives on the second floor and he said he couldn’t stand the noise.

Today’s incident was our first face-to-face chat with him and obviously, it didn’t go too well.

I think I’m gonna have to talk to the apartment manager tomorrow. I don’t know what the outcome is going to be but I’d hate to have to move again.

May be I should bake him a cake. One with a picture of one of our Gods with multiple arms with a dot in the forehead working at a call center fixing somebody’s computer.

UPDATE: When I walked into the manager’s office this morning, he was already there. She made him apologize to us. She also mentioned that they are discussing terminating his lease. I don’t know if they are actually going to do it. But she seemed pretty sincere and was apologetic for his behavior.

Interestingly, she told me that this was not his first incident there. And that they have zero tolerance for racists especially because it’s considered harassment under law and is a crime.

His side of the story was that some Indian kid threw a ball at his friend’s dog and the dog’s leash came loose and it ran away. He had to chase it and when he came back and asked the people around who was responsible for the kid’s actions, nobody said a word. So apparently he was pissed off at them and he just took it out on me. Because you know, the kid was an Indian, I’m an Indian, all Indians are jerks..etc..etc.

It’s been a year since I blogged. My last post was about getting married. A lot has transpired since and if I had to explain, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Swapna and I recently celebrated our first anniversary (May 20th) and neither of us can believe how quickly time has passed by. Seems like yesterday when we were waiting outside the US consulate for her visa interview.

Anyways, I’ve decided to blog more “often” moving forward and I’ll have some of the good stories (from the past year) for future posts. If you’d like a teaser, here’s one – barely 10 days after our anniversary celebrations, Swapna and I almost drowned after our boat hit a rock and toppled when we went canoeing on Buffalo river in Arkansas. Yupp. Life is just awesome.

But this post today is about something completely different but very important nonetheless.

Today’s my last day at EMC Corporation.

It’s been five and a half years since I joined my first company – Bright Corner (acquired by Geniant which in turn was acquired by EMC) and it’s been an awesome ride. I learned so much from so many smart people not just on different projects but also in personal life. I’ve built a lot of great relationships with some very good people here. Some of them are still with EMC and some have moved on, but still in touch with me.

I am who I am because of these wonderfully talented and skilled people and I will never forget that.

I’m trying very VERY hard not to be cheesy (any more than I already have been so far in this post) here but believe me, it’s tough.

In any case, thanks to everyone who’s supported me and helped shape my future and career. You know I sincerely appreciate it.

The time has come for EMC and I, to part ways and as per the #1 rule of life, things have to move on. EMC will. And I will too.

Moving on…

Dec 29th 2008 will go down in history as the day I got engaged to Swapna.

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I’ll nevertheless, say a few things about her. Alright… so here we go…

Although my parents did all the work and found her for me, I must admit that they didn’t do all that bad.

She is a software professional like me and works in Boston. Going by the experience that this long distance relationship has provided us over the last 6 months (For those who don’t know, I live in Dallas, TX which is about 1759 miles from Boston as per Google maps), I can say this much – She is GREAT!

Swapna is a very sweet, loving, caring, understanding, kind, polite and lovable girl that grew up in the same city as I, back in India. We have that thing in common (in addition to a lot of other things) and it makes things a lot easier. For example, music we listen to, movies we like, eating habits, local jokes and the references that go with them etc.

In any case, I know it takes a lot of patience to deal with someone like me (I can hear you going “yeah…no shit!”) .  And I think she is ready, willing and in fact happy to do that for the rest of our life together as a couple.

All said I think she is just beautiful inside out. And I hope I’ll be able to make her just as happy as she makes me and continue doing that for the rest of the journey.

Wish us luck!

My second sister Shyju brought Archith into this beautiful world on Friday, October 3rd 2008. He weighs 7.2 lbs.

More pics on my flickr soon…

My parents are at my sister’s place in Phoenix at present. They arrived last Monday and are going to be staying with her for the next 6 months helping her take care of the family during her pregnancy. Good times! By the way, she’s having a boy baby.

I’m blogging this sitting at the DFW airport in Dallas on a Saturday morning (6:30 AM). My flight to Phoenix departs in about 45 minutes. Can’t wait to see my peeps.

I’ll be spending the next 10 days there. So many things to look forward to – mom’s cooking, Samhitha, Shyju’s bickering, long conversations with Dad etc.

So while i wait for the boarding call, i guess i have a few things to share. I passed another Microsoft certification exam 070-528. Scored 965. Required score to pass – 700. And that makes me an MCTS now, I guess. Yay me!

My best friend Ganesh had a girl baby. He hasn’t sent me the pics yet. I’m so happy for him.

And yet another important news….but i guess it deserves a post of it’s own….so you’ll have to wait. Not sure if i’m mentally prepared to openly talk about it just yet.

Ohhh! There is the boarding call…..gotta run…

As promised in my previous post, i’m going to talk about what i did the same day i landed here, in Chennai, in an attempt to change the system a little bit.

Everybody knows that India is not the most polite country among civilized nations. We did not earn that honor by choice but that just happened. India is the largest democracy in this world and when you have just over a billion people trying to eke out a living in congested cities, people just don’t have time to stop and say Hi or greet you with a smile when you walk into their stores.

Anyways, here’s my story.

Location: State Bank of India, HVF – Avadi, Chennai.

Time: May 23rd 2007 – 9:30 AM.

My dad and I walk into this bank and we see 2 lines at these 2 counters. My dad asks me to stand in one line and leaves to go to the ATM. I’m standing there and the line is moving very slow. My patience is running out. And that’s when i notice that the other line is barely moving at all. Turns out that there is no one at that counter. And people have been standing there for a while now.

One of them finally decides to open his mouth and ask the person serving the people in my line, “Excuse me…is anybody gonna attend the people standing in line at this counter?”

The man doesn’t even look at this guy and answers “Nope.”

Immediately people start grumbling and mumbling and start to move towards the end of my line. The guy who asked the question originally was obviously mad at reply he received. He said “You could have just told us that before. We’ve been standing here for so long.”

The banker replies “Well…you never asked before…did you?”.

Can you believe it? The banker knew this the whole time that nobody was going to attend that counter and he intentionally did not tell those people for whatever reason.

And even worse, look at this rude reply! This is how most institutions/organizations deal with their customers. People in India are used to this kind of attitude from not only government employees but also from private firms. Nobody cares about losing the customers. Why would they? They know that if they lose one, they have only lost ONE BILLION MINUS ONE. Do the math!

I was stunned as i witnessed this whole thing. The reality is that i have been spoiled big time by the United States of America. People are nice, courteous and kind there. Customers are treated with utmost respect. Forget customers, people in general care about each other and treat one another just like how they would like to be treated.

So anyways, my dad comes back and i tell him what happened. He says “well…stop comparing India and America. You have lived in both these countries. You know the difference. Things will never change here and one man cannot make any difference. Many have tried and failed. Only one man was successful. He was called Gandhi and somebody shot him dead, after all that he did for this country. So, just forget it. We need to get our work done and get out of here soon.”

He asked me to go take a seat and stood in the line for me. I was sitting there and trying to think when will India change. If people like us, keep letting these losers trample us, they are going to continue doing that. Nobody wants to deal with the mess. Nobody wants to make a difference. They just want to take care of their stuff and move on with their lives. No wonder India is still a “developing” country.

I couldn’t just sit there and take it like that. I decided to do something about it. I stood up and started walking towards the General Manager’s office. People were waiting to see him. I was standing in the line there when the helper (peon) asked me to take a seat. I told him i didn’t have time for that and i wanted to lodge a complaint.

He asked me what was wrong and i told him what happened there. He smiled and said it happened every single day. People have complained many times about that banker and nothing actually happens. He told me 12 people were supposed to be at work today and only 2 were there!

Ha! Welcome to India.

He asked me to just walk in to the GM’s office and talk to him.

I walked in and apologized to the people waiting there and told the GM i needed to lodge a complaint about an employee there.

Initially, he looked at me as if i had 3 heads. I knew i had to say something to make him take me seriously.

I didn’t have a lot of time to think.

Here’s our conversation after that.

“Hi. My name is Girish. I just arrived today from the United States. I’m here on a 4 week project for a bank called Washington Mutual. Have you heard of them before?”

That did it. I got his attention the way i wanted.

“Yes Sir. Please have your seat Sir.”

“No, thanks. WaMu is planning to have a tie-up with your bank SBI to help capture the NRI (Non Residential Indian) market in the United States. I was assigned to do my research about your bank and file my findings as a report. Today i witnessed something that doesn’t exactly put your bank in good light. I want to know if this is the kind of respect your customers get. WaMu is very serious about customer satisfaction and i’m sure they’d like to know what happened here today.”

“What happened Sir?”

I explained.

He immediately called that banker and went ballistic. He started explaining the “importance” of customer happiness and how the customer is “always right” and blah blah blah.

I could actually hear the banker’s response. He obviously was denying everything as expected.

But he got what he deserved. And the manager apologized to me for what happened and “promised” me it will never happen again. (Yeah…right!). He requested that i mention how the GM handled the situation in my “report”. ( Sure!) He even offered to take care of my business there today. I politely refused and said i’d rather stand in line like others and get my stuff done.

I thanked him and walked out of his office to see my dad waiting there for me.

My dad asked me “Did you complain to the manager?”

“But Dad..”

“Yes or no?”

“(Sigh!) Yes.”

“I KNEW it. I was standing in the line when he got that call from the manager. He was stammering and was obviously shaken. People were laughing and the guy behind me said that somebody must have complained. I knew it was you. I knew it.”

“Dad. I had to. I’m sorry if i embarrassed you.”

He smiled and said “Not at all.”

Yeah…yeah…i had to lie. I admit it. It was not the right thing to do. But a simple harmless lie that didn’t hurt any innocent person, and actually helped a few people, is not a bad thing.

On a side note, turns out that the banker worked faster after he got that call.

Jai Hind!

It’s been 3 since years since i took a decent vacation. The last time i took one, it was a trip to India. Back then I was still a student just about to graduate that semester. It was a calculated move since i knew as soon i as came back to the US, i would look for a first full-time job and to ask for a 4 weeks vacation within a year of joining any company would not look all that impressive to the employers. So it was then or at least 2 years from then.

I added the ticket expense to the student loans account and booked my tickets. Boy! Did i have fun or did i have fun! I loved it. It was so cool. Everywhere i went, i was treated with so much love and respect. After all, not many kids in the family gets to go to the US and complete a Masters degree in Engineering.

So this time when my sister said she was moving to India for good, and the fact that my father is retiring after serving the Central Government defense ministry for about 38 years, i thought “Well…may be this would be the best time to take a vacation. I can help her move, carry some stuff for her to India (actually the plane did but i packed as little as possible so that i can pack an extra luggage for her and show it as mine)…and be there when my father’s loved ones are celebrating his achievement”.

And so i decided to take a 4 week vacation this summer. Bad time to plan a trip to India but …oh well! The journey was not all that fun as expected – nobody likes to fly for 19 hours with a break of couple of hours in between. The break was at Frankurt, Germany.

Man…what a shitty airport! They made people sit in a big hall and then after about an hour. They asked all of us to leave so that they can “board” us …sounds fine…right? Yeah..the only difference is that they were not actually “boarding”. They just wanted to check everybody’s ticket and then let them back in to the same freaking hall.

Yeah…more than 200 passengers including nursing mothers and older people, were standing in front of this little gate where Lufthansa had 2 people “checking” people’s tickets and letting them in. There were no lines ..nothing. Just a huge crowd comprised of mostly brown people – about 98%. Looked like a refugee camp to me where people were waiting for food packets.

And after about an hour of crawling through an ocean of people and check-in baggages, everyone finally got back into the hall and then within about 15 minutes, they said “yeah…you can all board now…”. Again, people rushed to the gate. This time we didn’t have anyone standing at the gate and actually boarding each one in. So it was a race-to-your-seat game. What a freaking mess!

After 8 hours and 30 minutes of seemingly never-ending flight, we finally landed in Chennai at about midnight. And after about an hour of immigration paper work, we got out of the airport and walked into the spread out loving arms of my dad. And that’s when i realized, DAMN….it is HOT! I was sweating like crazy! And my cousin mentioned “i know dude…the humidity is gonna kill you. You realize it is 2 AM in the morning…right? Wait until you get to see the sunlight tomorrow man”. Sigh!

Boy was he right? It is sooooo hoooootttttt here! I feel like i have already lost 10 lbs…and got dehydrated the first day itself.

Another interesting thing happened today. I got a chance to attempt to change the system a little bit. Something that has been on every Indian’s mind…something that every one has dealt with at least once in their lifetime in India….i took it on…

Stay tuned for the next post!

Shishir Balamurali – my nephew announced his arrival in style on March 16th 2007 at 2:51 AM. He’s my elder sister’s second child. Her daughter – Shreya Balamurali (6 years old) is understandably all excited about her lil’ brother.

He weighed 7.11 lbs and 20.5 inches long.

The last 3 days have been crazy and i barely got any work done. But you know what? It’s ok. You don’t get to celebrate a new addition to your family frequently unless you are on a mission (and/or rampage ).

That’s a nice couple. But wait…that’s not me! Who is this guy? He looks like me. A bit chubbier i guess. If i put on some extra weight, and took my glasses off, i’d probably look like him.

WOW!

I decided to have some fun with this pic and sent it to my other friends that were not in that group and also my family. Surprisingly, even my loved ones believed it was me (of course, at first glance..everybody realized it was not me once they paid close attention). Quite frankly, i really didn’t think the resemblance was that uncanny to dupe even my family.

Wait a minute…even if it was me indeed, why would you say i was cheating? (Remember that was the subject of the email Ashok sent to everyone). What was i cheating about? Or who was i cheating on?

Wrong choice of words, my friend.

How the hell did they get all this info? Half of it is outdated but still…domain privacy anyone?

Well… i guess the following lines as stated on the aboutus.org site should explain everything.

In addition to this site, if you would like to prevent your information from showing up anywhere, you may wish to contact your domain name registrar and purchase a privacy service which most of the majors domain name registrars have. That doesn’t deal with historical information which may already be out there, but at least it deals with it on a go forward basis.

For people that are not serious about spending those extra couple of bucks for private registration, here are a few tips that might help.

The information listed on your domain name has to be made publicly available per your Registrar�s agreement with ICANN, the international governing body of domain names. Providing false information will violate the registration agreement and could lead to the cancellation of your registration.

Most of the major registrars out there offer a solution to help protect your privacy. They offer something called private domain name registration service (usually for a relatively insignificant cost) which will list them as your proxy and thus it is their information (name, address and phone number) that is displayed in the public domains out there, for example, WHO-IS directory. Remember, you still are the real owner of your domain.

A small price to pay for peace of mind. Hope this helps someone.